life story ey?

yeah its been a while..
i never thought i'd be blogging anymore but it's just another way to express all that im feeling..
i feel like crap..
and im sure he would too..
there's just sooo many secrets and i cant bare to hold it in any longer..
i'm the worst girlfriend ever and im really sorry keeping things from u baby..
i dont even know where to start..
on hari raya haji this yr, my mum forced me to follow her to my relative's house and so i went.
when we reached the house, i saw someone who really stood out.
in fact, he was the first person i noticed.

i really feel like crap and the more i think about the, the more its eating my head..
everything happened so fast and now im trapped in a web of lies..
i hate that i have to lie to u, but i dont think that u'd understand.
u always say that i have a choice and yes i did , but now i have no choice but to keep on lying to you
till either of us finally fall apart..

i dont wanna live my life regretting the decision i have to make today..
i dont wanna let u go or lose u
there's just too many things and places that would remind me of u and i
dont think i'd be able to live life being stuck in our past..
i dont know what love is but i know what we have now, i dont wanna lose it.

a great guy told me today that in life, we shouldn't be worried about little things like this.
that there'll nvr be a problem that's too large to handle.
that in life there's so many other things to worry about..
such as the after life..

if u ever read this, im sorry for lying:(