hello world!

only one word could describe today.. BORING! and omg dont you people have aNYTHING better in life besides getting on my nerves.. even if u wanna comment to tell me how much u hate me , have the bloody guts to leave a name behind NEXT TIME:)
im at my aunt's office, filling in for her while she's on vacationn...sad life mannn... ohh well ...
speaking of jobs i have an interview this coming monday to work at the airport:) but! why must there always be a BUT:( hmm my new slackking job also starts on monday.. cant decide.. maybe i can make it for the interview and the other job as well... hopefully:)

ohh yes! my mum told me the other day that my dad fell in love with her writing! about life and so on...
i shall give it a try:)
people, so many different types of people. some are short, tall, skinny, fat,good , bad, beautiful and hideous..
ok fine who am i kidding ? this topic suckss....

try a different one then...
the universe! something i love more than many othher things...
this would be my most favourite show on discovery channel:)

did u know that most stars are actually way larger than our sun.. and that would make our sun a star too would'nt it? and if that were true, makes me wonder if all those other stars out there a sun to maybe an alien earth.. 

and one day our sun will die , just a matter of time before all living thing in this world goes extinct.. because what scientists recently found out is that when stars die, some would become a supanova, what's that? immagine the blast of the atomic bomb(e=MC2) the atomic bomb times a million gazillion:) it could destroy all the planets around it and mass destruction.....
how does it happen? let's say our sun dies, in the process of it dying, it would actually
ohhh fuck i need to pee! bye

life story ey?

yeah its been a while..
i never thought i'd be blogging anymore but it's just another way to express all that im feeling..
i feel like crap..
and im sure he would too..
there's just sooo many secrets and i cant bare to hold it in any longer..
i'm the worst girlfriend ever and im really sorry keeping things from u baby..
i dont even know where to start..
on hari raya haji this yr, my mum forced me to follow her to my relative's house and so i went.
when we reached the house, i saw someone who really stood out.
in fact, he was the first person i noticed.

i really feel like crap and the more i think about the, the more its eating my head..
everything happened so fast and now im trapped in a web of lies..
i hate that i have to lie to u, but i dont think that u'd understand.
u always say that i have a choice and yes i did , but now i have no choice but to keep on lying to you
till either of us finally fall apart..

i dont wanna live my life regretting the decision i have to make today..
i dont wanna let u go or lose u
there's just too many things and places that would remind me of u and i
dont think i'd be able to live life being stuck in our past..
i dont know what love is but i know what we have now, i dont wanna lose it.

a great guy told me today that in life, we shouldn't be worried about little things like this.
that there'll nvr be a problem that's too large to handle.
that in life there's so many other things to worry about..
such as the after life..

if u ever read this, im sorry for lying:(

he's all mine:)

:)

baby i love you soooo much and im sorry for being soooooo moody today man..

i dont know what's wrong but something's bugging me and im sorry for letting it out on you honey:)

loving u always:)

weeeeeeeeeee:)

yay!!! today's the day man:) haha
the gorilla gets to book out:) haha
i know i just met him yesterday but that doesn't count cause he came over my place for some kenduri thing..
and today's extra special cause the gorilla would be in uniform:)
oooooooo:O i have this fettish lah for guys in uniform:) ahhahah:)
i'll post back in with the pics tonight:) wee:) ahhaha:)

idiots:)

haha! omg! it's been quite a while since i've blogged! and before i begin anything, i just wanna state that TO BLOG, YOUR ENGLISH DOESN'T HAVE TO BE SOOO GREAT RIGHT 'DEE'?
im sure ur english is perfect my dear but i dont really give a fuck:)

so if u think my english is horrid, do urself the favour of not reading my blog:)

well to start things of, life not been much of a bitch lately, it's been rather perfect:)
so perfect that i dont have to turn to blogging about what a bitch life is:)

u know when everything's going soo well, and sometimes the smallest thing would bug u?
well here's what's bugging me..
i was in my boyfriend's facebook profile just now.. and just out of curiosity, i clicked on his {inbox}..
i know i know..
now i feel real bad about it..
i mean its not that i dont trust him cause i do..
but u know when you're just soo damn curious,
well that curiousity took over me....
he told me once about this ex girlfriend of his,
they were together 4 yrs back and she said something about missing him and all..
he dint say much but he just told her that there are many other better guys out there..
i dont really know whats that supposed to mean but yalah..
im guessing it's a nicer way to say "back off"?
haha..
well after typing this out,
i figured that this small lil thing is nothing compared to all i put him through..
i broke my promise of staying away from smoking..
i keep in contact with 3 of my ex's so why should this bother me so much right?
but i know, those 3 ex's that i still keep in contact with, there's not strings attached..
we're just good friends who realised that we're better off friends than being in a relationship:)

gorilla's in camp now, and ohh do i miss him...
5days a week in camp sucks mann..
and this is only our first week!
please let god be by my side and help me cope with the upcoming weeks:)

and i dint realise that there's soo much going on in my life..
now that ive thought about it,  i also like soo very 'malas' to type it all down:)

i'm just counting down the days, hours, mins and seconds till my gorilla gets to book out:)

my gorilla:)

something in my mind.

there's just that little something in my head that has been bugging me since the time i fell asleep this morning.

i've been cracking my head since the time i awoke and i still have no answers:(

it's like a mix of feelings all rolled up into a huge ball and u just dont know what it is anymore..

even worse, i dont know how to rid of this feeling that is dragging my emotions down.

i suppose time heals all wounds and i'll just have to wait out this feeling till i eventually forget..

life sucks yea i know but im looking for the better of it:)

you know what i hate most?

i really hate having to confront my problems.

even if i know that there's no use ignoring a problem.

for this case, ignorance is not bliss!

but i have that fear in me.

i fear that if i confront my problem, i might lose out and lose everything.

ofcourse that's just my phobia.

i mean nothing like that has ever happened

but still it doesnt kill to take precautions right?

but u know it's like when ur too careful bout something, you tend to forget the most important things..

as said in a movie, "never let the fear of striking out keep you from plaing the game"

well in this case i am letting the fear of striking out keep me from plaing the game and it's only a matter of time before i lose the game...

LIFE.....

i thought blogging this out would have helped me feel better but nope it didn't help this time:(

im goana have to get through this on my own...

maybe it was a mistake to have trusted u so fast..

have a banana:)

haha... one for everyone but me!!
me and mummy went ntuc this afternoon and we bought everything i needed to make my cream pasta:)
but we forgot BANANAs!! grrrrrrrr!! there goes my midnight snack:(
haha..
i'm making white pasta today! and i think im in love!
in love with the wild mushrooms! they're absolutely gorgeous!! hee..
i just finished marinating the chicken chunks and now my hand smells like chicken and garlic!
even after washing it with soap a million times! grr!! hahaha
and one hint! next time ur mum asks u to tag along to the supermarket, DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT GO!
hahahha..
back to making pasta for me!!

sometimes its better to let go than to hurt yourself holding on.

im sure u agree with me after our long2 talk?
ive had many rough breaks and i think this is just nice,
us still being friends:)
p.s i'm goana kick ur ass at pool:P haha

i used to be love drunk but now im hung over.

someone really dear to me said something to me today.
something that had made me realise what always goes wrong in my relationships.
when in a relationship, what usually happens is that when you're serious about the guy,
he's always not serious.
so when u decide to give up and not be serious,
the guy suddenly serious..
am i making sense?
but it made sense when i said it in my head.
well what happened in my most recent relationship was just that.
he suddently got serious when i finally gave up.
but there was a couple of relationships where both parties were serious.
but u know, it just dint work out cause of my being childish.

i think its time to just take a break man .
from all relationships.
im not looking for anyone, any relationships.
im on a vacation from all the heartpains, all the emotional moments in my life.
i've had more than enough for a 17year old.
im just looking forwardd to living my life and only happiness to be in it,
so if u plan on coming back,

please dont.

the wisdom of a fool wont set you free.

we'll meet tmr if you wanna meet.
if u wanna prove something that was so obvious to begin with.